Bucking The System

It's Wednesday and I've been off work for a few days. Well, sort of, Matt Barber is recording his new record and I had thoughts of being Peter Grant in the studio. Suffice it to say, I've left my baseball bat at home and sit peacefully watching what I believe, to be the creation of a great record.
Usually, Wednesdays are Soundscan days. I usually have someone at BMG pull up the numbers for me as V2 doesn't have access to the system. See, it costs thousands of dollars to access soundscan. Aside from being outrageously costly, Soundscan has to be the most skewed resource the music industry follows (followed closely by the topic of the next paragraph). See, independent stores do not subscribe to Soundscan as they prefer to have the ability to pay employess rather then collect data. Because of the independent store omission, most of our beloved indie bands never appear on the elusive top 200 sales chart. The labels use these numbers as tools in garnering airplay at both video and radio outlets. This is one reason why indie bands are often overlooked at radio and video as their Soundscan figures aren't exactly indicative of how their record is actually performing. I really don't have a solution for this problem, no one trusts one another so we couldn't use the number of albums shipped as a formula. See, the labels would more then likely fudge the numbers of an artist to impress retail, radio and video thus creating a more corrupt system then already in existence. Please feel free to submit your suggestions in the usually vacant comment section.
Since I no longer follow the hebrew calendar, Thursday follows Wednesday, and that can only mean one thing, a freshly stapled together issue of Canadian Music Network. The staffers at CMN are easily one of the nicest bunch of people around. However, their magazine ranks right up there with Dr.Phil episodes as things that cause Evan high blood pressure. My favourite from last issue was where they had a readers poll for The Best of '04. My favourite was the "Band to Make it Big in '05". The Waking Eyes were the lucky recipient of this honour. I guess having a record out for 5 months, releasing 2 singles and touring the country relentlessly is just a prelude of big things to come. I like the band, quality people but the next big thing tag does not apply to a band that have had their window open for a while. CMN saves time for all of us in the industry, one central location for labels to go hawk their wares. We bring the magazine our music, let em know what we're doing and how much of a priority the band in question is and bang! The band make their Hit Pick list. They have tried to improve and shift a little left of centre with their "Dark Horse" pick but they should look at the end of Barry Walsh's opening column for the real dark horse. The magazine has a huge opportunity to influence radio by highlighting and covering bands that radio programmers may never heard of. Instead, they just reinforce what all promo people are pushing on them anyway. One day, I'd like to see them pick a kick ass indie band as their #1 Hit Pick and see what happens. It'd be a good gauge for the magazine to see if radio actually pays attention to the magazine and if they actually do, and play the band in question, then you my friends, have done your part at changing radio's landscape. CMN has the voice the a lot of people would love to have, it's unfortunate that they don't utilize it. The pictures in the back are disturbing, contrived but incredibly humorous. Never before have I felt so much sympathy for whatever band has to appear along a radio personality from Moose Jaw who usually goes by the name that has either Mad, Crazy, or Thunder either before or in the middle of their real or radio name. I know that my blogger hero Aaron lists this section as his favourite part of the magazine.
In conclusion, a new way of tracking sales and a trade magazine that actually sets the tone rather then just reiterate label propaganda would go a long way in changing Canadian music for the good.

People Actually Read This?

I got 2 whole comments on my last post, that must mean that people are reading it. I guess I should post more. I was a little harsh on my fellow males in the music industry. There are some good people out there who do like music and pussy, it was a bit of a generalization and if I wasn't a male I'd probably apologize.
So more of the year in review, we shift to politics.
I think Yucshenko looks better with a little dioxin in him, perhaps dioxin will be the new botox in the coming year.
The right won in the US, amazing how they're so morally correct and value values when half of the church are using little boys as if St. Augustine was Neverland Ranch.
The Iraq war continues, democracy and feeedom will reign, someday. Then it's off to Iran and then perhaps North Korea. It could even be us, with all of our fresh water, our gays uniting in holy matrimony and our lax pot laws. Given that there was no vote to establish the latter two, does that mean our government is denying us the democratic process? We're having these laws forced upon us, Mr. Bush please save us from being able to smoke pot and marry the same sex! Oh the tyranny.
Then there was sports, many do not know or care that I actually follow sports. It's kind of like a secret society amongst music industry people. Hockey got shelved, and most looked upon it as a major disaster. Well, Canada is still functioning and the people who bring us watered down urine they pass as beer, are making clever little commercials. The loss of hockey is actually effecting our GDP. Then you get the people who say "How can the players complain when they make millions of dolars?" Well, if you worked for a company and was a key component of said company and they made a shitload of money, wouldn't you feel entitled to some of that if you are such an integral part of tha company? The problem is that the companies aren't making the moeny and are trying to compromise with the players but everyone thinks the other is lying. Hello OHL.
Baseball has steroids. Anna Nicole Smith is fucked up. Two incredibley obvious statements. Yet, this year, steroids took the headlines as their "distributor" was busted. Did Bud Selig and the owners sit down and say "Hey, our players may be juiced up but they're bringing people back to the park, let's play dumb on this". Then the well runs dry when BALCO goes tits up, Jason Giambi's body begins to eat him from the inside and now the owners cry foul. Sure Mark Maguire was using a natural enhancement and Barry Bonds went through a growth spurt in his late 30's.
Then there was basketball, Qyntel Woods of the Trail Blazers was busted for dog fighting and the rest of the team go by either Cheech or Chong. And the Pistons-Pacers fracas led to this joke "Why did Ron Artest leave the basketball game early?" - To beat the crowd. The commisoner of the NBA David Stern hasn't yet realized that most of the ball players idolize rap stars and try and emulate their videos. So, let's give a wannabe 50 Cent, 6 mil a year and act suprised when he's caught in his Hummer huffing a blunt.
I read the box scores and the highlights of the NFL but the thought of watching it at the same time as some fat woman in a Washingstoin Redskin tracksuit with her face painted burgundy and yellow in a trailer park in Virginia, makes me sick. I love the fact that a team names themselves the Redskins. I'm hoping that when Toronto gets an NFL team, they can be called the "Kykes" and their team emblem could be an aushwitz survivour.
As I conclude my thoughts, I just want to point out the helpful people of our society. I had a flat tire on xmas and about 30 people passed my girlfriend and I as we tried to change the tire with the archaic tools the rental company provided. Not one person offered any form of assistance but were more then willing to slow their pace to glance at my girlfriend bending over or gawking at the fact some chubby dude' ass crack was showing. I guess more people read this then I thought and they all just happened to be at the Paramount Theatre on Xmas.

For Those Who Waited...Newman's Year In Review

Well, the year is closing to an end. I turned 30 a few weeks ago and for those concerned, I am dealing with it relatively well (most people thought I was older anyway). So without further rambling, here is my year in review...

The Music Industry - The fight to combat those evil downloaders continued and much like Kirstie Alley's battle with the bulge, it was ugly and unsuccesful. Two major labels merged, now SOB - MG.With their potent A&R staff, perhaps Ricky J will come out of hiding to join the likes of Keisha Chante, OLP and Shawn Desman. The Feist legend grew as did that of The Arcade Fire. Everyone and their mothers seemed to love these records and it just continued to prove that labels ears are bypassing the quality homegrown for shwag.
The press continued to unearth musical gems and champion them until we were tired of reading about them and the coolest of the cool just stopped listening to music period. "Dude, Arcade Fire and Stars are so overhyped, I don't listen to music". Or they could take the route of this College radio programmer and just try to be as elitist as possible:
tan as fuck . (sars)chasm . audiobotmetalux .
waiting for armadillo .
loadholzkopf . this cd is an apology .
dainty deathy CChenry flynt & the insurrections . i don't wanna .
locust/bo weavilrecordingsilhan mimaroglu . agitation . locust713avo amor .
horrores varios de la estupidez actual .
compañia desueños ilimitadamouthus . s/t .
psych-o-pathyellow swans . bring the neon war home . narnackunireverse . plays the music of quebec and other planets . total zero CCwolf eyes . burned mind . subpop
lsd march . kanashimino bishounen . hp cycletower recordings . galaxies' incredible sensual transmission field ofthe tower recordings . communionramon sender . worldfood . locustsimon finn . pass the distance . durtro/jnana

This was the biggest crock of shit I ever read, "I am so fucking hip that the bands I listen too aren't actually bands, just menu items from an Afghan restaraunt I visit with my turtleneck wearing, non cable watching, wanna be gay music elitists". Wolf Parade? Damn, anyone who says they love this record must be still angry with their parents. Nothing like "noise rock" to drown out your mother screaming at your father for having pics of young vietnamese boys on his computer.

It's become somewhat of a battle between the hipsters and the label suits. The labels throw out the pop punk crap, the press wont cover it except for Ben Mulroney and the print media replies with something a little better and a little more obscure but nonetheless all sounding the same. Campus radio goes a step further and just makes up bands to put on their oh so exclusive charts that no one outside of label people read.

Contrary to popular belief, there were some records that I liked this year. Pete Elkas, Death From Above, Brian Borcherdt, and the artists I represent.

I don't see bright lights ahead for the music biz in 2005 but I'm going to do my best to make that change Ive been promising for as long as Mary Kate and Ashley have promised to remove the restraining order against me.

So, I'm an egomaniacal douche bag, and I wish that everyone in this business would admit the same. Honestly, if you're at a major label and you're a male, you're in it for pussy. If you get pussy, you're in it to hang out with people who you think are much cooler then you and there must be some guilty by association clause that you believe will get you extracurricular pussy.
The money is shit but who can deny themselves a chance to hit on the hangers on of Maroon 5?

Now, I must dismount from my high horse and hope that when Mercury Rev comes around again, their groupies aren't contestants in waiting for The Swan.

More of My Year In Review next year